Dear Future Husband, Be Different

There are more important things than timing.


Photo by: Sweet Sarah Marie Photography


Dear Future Husband,

Finding you was an impossible task.

Not that I was constantly looking, but let’s be honest, it was kind of hard not to.

I tried to be content without you in my life. After all, I am a strong, capable and independent woman.

Sometimes, though, I just wanted you around.

I was experiencing some of the most exciting times in my life and you were ultimately who I wanted to share them with.

So, what’s my point in writing this?

It’s that everywhere I looked, disappointment followed.

I thought I found you in the seemingly perfect guy, the one who professed to be a Christian, who was driven, sweet and kind.

Only he wasn’t you and would only lead to heartbreak.

He was the one who, in the light of day would be the ideal choice, my friends squealed over him, my mom loved him, my dad thoughtfully approved.

But the truth of the matter is, he was none of the things that make a man a husband.

He was none of the things that make a man you.

He probably drank a little too much on the weekend or had a wandering eye on the girl crossing the street.

He might have thought a few recreational drugs were just fine.

He didn’t like “Lord of the Rings” or “The Hobbit.”

He was a little too loose with the words that came from his mouth and a little too tight with where his money went.

He didn’t text me for days and a phone call was out of the question.

Most of all, he was lukewarm.

After him, my fervent prayer was for you to be the exact opposite of those things.

For you to be disciplined and faithful.

To recognize the danger of substance abuse and the reasons I have for staying as far away as possible from it.

To embrace being a nerd, just like me.

To know the value of the words you say and how they can build up or tear down.

To gladly give your money to people in need and rejoice when it’s used for God’s glory.

To make sure I know exactly how much I mean to you, whether it’s a simple text or phone call.

Most importantly, to be passionate about the things you love. Most of all, God. To realize the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross and because of that, you don’t waste your time on petty things.

You are the man I will marry and eventually, we can spend the rest of our lives rejoicing in the love Christ displayed for us.

I stopped wasting my time on the guys I knew weren’t you.

I kept my head up when I thought I might have found you, only to realize he was just another wannabe.

The lesson I learned in those years was the biggest lesson I could have ever learned: it wasn’t the question of when you’d finally get here, it was a matter of the condition of your heart when you arrived.


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